Category: Children

Great stuff that I’ve tried with kids…either making or eating.

Posted in Children, God Loves Me!

Children’s Sermon: Isaiah 11:1-10 – Jesse’s Root and Jesus’s Birth – Waiting

Posted on by singingaboutcooking

Scripture: Isaiah 11:1-10 with Romans 15:13

Props: cup/pot of soil and a Christmas tree seed (similar seeds for demo purposes only: pumpkin, cardamon pod, pepita/pine nut); slice of a Christmas tree trunk for counting the rings; photos of Charlie Brown Christmas tree, 6-8′ home tree (yours or online), and ask how tall the church Chrismon tree is

 

charlie-brown-pathetic-christmas-tree-3About 10 years ago when I moved back to Charleston, I didn’t know it but a squirrel or bird planted a Christmas tree in my front yard. The first year, it look pretty much like this [ask if anyone recognizes the tree; if not tell them it’s the Charlie Brown Christmas tree]. Yep, that’s what a 1-year-old Christmas tree looks like.

christmastreeNow, 10 years later, my front yard tree is about 5 feet tall. Can you believe that? It took TEN YEARS for my tree to grow only 5 feet tall. I mean, I’m still taller than my tree.

us_plants_homeThe tree you’ve got in your house – or will have – is usually about 6-8 feet tall, and that takes hmmmm 8 to 12 years to grow that tall.

Now take a look over at the Chrismon tree here in the church. I have it on good authority that’s a 12-foot tree. How long do you think it took for that tree to grow that big and tall? [take guesses]
chrismontreeringsWell, thanks to Mr. Jonathan who got us a slice of our tree, we can find out exactly how many years it took. [count the rings out loud] That’s right, FIFTEEN years. Are any of you fifteen years old? [no] Guess what that means? Our tree is older than you are!

In today’s lesson, the prophet Isaiah learns from God a really great description of who Jesus will be and what he will do for us. Now Isaiah lived 700 years before Jesus was even born. He says that Jesus will come from the root of Jesse and He will be wise and strong and so much more. And God’s people waited patiently and were faithful for 700 years before Jesus was finally born.

If you get a chance, ask your mom or dad to let you read the church’s newsletter. Both Pastor Mike and Ms. Crystal write about the word “advent,” which means waiting. And it takes two main qualities to wait: patience and faith. Sometimes we have to wait a while before a promise comes true, and when it takes an especially long time, it also takes faith to not give up hope that the promise-maker is really going to do what he or she promised.

Can you imagine waiting 700 years and still believing that God would make good on His promise? That’s some amazing patience and faith to wait and believe that whole time – 700 years – for God to keep His promise. We only have to wait 4 weeks every year – that’s how long the season of Advent lasts – where we prepare our hearts and lives for our first glimpse of the tiny seedling – the baby Jesus – who grew up to fulfill ALL of God’s promises as our Savior Jesus Christ.

Will you pray with me?

Dear God, Thank you for trees and especially Christmas and Chrismon trees to remind us just how long it takes to grow into what God has planned for me. Help me to be patient and faithful when I want things to happen faster than they are. Amen.

Delivered on Sunday, December 4, 2016 at Palmetto Presbyterian Church.

 

Posted in Children

Children’s Sermon on 1 Samuel 16: 14-23 – Talents

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Scripture: 1 Samuel 16: 14-23

Props: the result of someone’s talent that helps you illustrate at least one answer below – I chose to focus on the “when” and show my grandmother’s portrait painted by a 78-year-old novice watercolorist

Just before you came up here you saw Pastor Mike welcome four new members to the church, and he asked them three questions. They are all important questions, but the last one, though simple, really has a lot packed into it. That question is “Will you be a faithful member of the church?”

Our new members said yes, and one thing that means is that they will use a sheet called a Time and Talent sheet to find out the different ways they can share their talents through the church’s activities and ministries.

So here’s my question to you:

What are talents?
accept all kinds of answers, including examples of talents
you could get lucky (like I did) and get the “perfect” answer: talents are special gifts that come from God that we can use to help others

Who gives us talents?
accept all kinds of answers, including talent teachers like musicians, coaches, teachers, etc.

Samuel wrote down for us what happened when Saul needed help. You see, Saul had a lot of bad days, and when he had a bad day, nothing could make it better. It took a while, but Saul learned that God had given someone the talent of playing a lyre – a tiny harp – and that hearing that person play could make the bad days get better. So Saul asked for help finding someone who plays the lyre well, and someone found David, a shepherd who could also play the lyre. David came to work for Saul. He played the lyre to make the bad days get better and also learned to help Saul in other ways too.

nelljonesbylucywilliams
Nell Jones (portrait, watercolor) by Lucy Williams

Now I have another question for you: When do we get our talents?
accept all kinds of answers: when we’re born, when we need them, when we’re ready
It’s so important to remember that ALL of those answers are right. If we were to read further in Samuel’s book, we’d learn that as David grew up, he received many more talents from God to use at different times. You know, my grandmother’s best friend Lucy was over 70 years old when God gave her a new talent as a watercolor painter. And she painted this portrait of my Nannie as a gift for her. And she also paints portraits for many of her friends and cards. She’s even painted me a few cards for my birthdays and special occasions in my life, and I cherish them and her talent.

Okay, last question: How many talents do we get?
accept all kinds of answers
Well, let’s count how many talents David has when he first meets Saul:

  1. he’s in the field with the sheep, so he has a talent as a shepherd
  2. he plays the lyre well, so he has a talent as a musician

So David has at least two talents, and I encourage you to read ahead in Samuel to see what other talents God gives to David as he grows into a man and becomes a King.

Will you pray with me?
Dear God, thank you for giving us talents so that we can do the things you ask us to do. Help us to be patient and practice our talents to do the best job we can. Amen

Delivered on Sunday, November 6, 2016 at Palmetto Presbyterian Church in Mt. Pleasant, SC.

Posted in Children

Children’s Sermon on Luke 17: 5-10 – The Mustard Seed

Posted on by singingaboutcooking

Scripture: Luke 17: 5-10

Prop(s):

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s World Communion Sunday so I’ve brought some of my favorite things from all over the world. [point out the different mustards]

What do all of these things have in common? [mustard] That’s right! And they all came from this tiniest tree seed in the world.  [hold up a single mustard seed].

How much mustard do you think we can get from this one seed? Enough for a sandwich? Enough for a hot dog or hamburger? Probably not.

So how do we get enough seeds to make enough mustard? [take various answers]

We plant one seed to make a tree of more seeds. Now, from what I’ve read, it takes 3-10 days for a mustard seed to send up its first stems and leaves.

When we come to church, we often talk about faith and that helps our faith grow from a teeny tiny seed into a giant tree. And Jesus tells us that if you have just a teeny tiny bit of faith – like this teeny tiny mustard seed – and you share that faith with others, then you can grow a faith tree just like this teeny tiny seed can grow a huge mustard tree. [show picture of mustard tree with house underneath to illustrate how big it can become]

What’s really cool is that churches all over the world, in all different languages, are celebrating communion today, the same as we are, and that’s what it’s like when we have and share just a little bit of faith and help it grow – a faith tree that’s a big as the whole earth.

Prayer: Dear Jesus, you showed us that faith starts small, as small as the tiniest mustard seed, and grows into a huge group of believers when we plant it and share it with others. Help us to show others our faith every day. Amen

 

Delivered on Sunday, October 2, 2016 at Palmetto Presbyterian Church in Mt. Pleasant, SC.

Posted in Children

Children’s Sermon on Genesis 1: 1-2, 26-31 – Children’s Work

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Scripture: Genesis 1: 1-2, 26-31

Prop(s): Bulletin

 

Good morning! How many of you look at the bulletin before church starts? [praise raised hands, welcome anyone who identifies as a newcomer]

One of the things I notice about today’s bulletin is that the word “work” appears a LOT of times. Do you go to work? [expect lots of NOs]

Are you sure? [more NOs]

Are you really sure? [more NOs]

What if I told you that you got hired for your first job on the day you were born? That you go to work every single day?

That’s right! Before God sent Jesus to earth, He gave us some rules, and the first four start with LOVE.

And when Jesus came to earth, He reminded us that the #1 rule of life is to love one another as much as God loves us.

Who remembers how much God loves us?

[Read or have a child read John 3: 16]

Now as I look back at our bulletin for this morning, we start out our service with Miss Crystal chiming the hour – you’ve head the big bell, right?

And them Preacher Mike shares announcements and invites others to come up and remind us of what’s happening at and through the church this week.

And then he says “now let us greet each other in ritual friendship.” What do we do then? [expect or prompt answers like say good morning, say hello, hug, shake hands]

Those are really great ways to show friendship, to show love. Can you think of some new ways? [I give the example that all of the choir members can’t reach each other to shake hands so they wave, or give the peace sign, or blow kisses]

[Praise examples] I want to show you one that I really would like to see you practice next week: Can you make a heart with your hands [praise everyone for doing so]. Now how about I make half the heart, and you make the other half. Now that’s a new sharing of love.

And that’s what God hired us all to do on the day we were born: to show and share love with everyone in the world.

Pray with me: Dear God, thank you soooooooo much for sending us Jesus to show us how to share love in many ways here in our church and out in the world. Amen.

 

Delivered on Sunday, July 10, 2016 at Palmetto Presbyterian Church in Mt. Pleasant, SC.

Posted in Children

Children’s Sermon for Luke 4: 14-21 – Scripture gives us power

Posted on by singingaboutcooking

Scripture: Luke 4: 14-21

Props: 1 book Bible, 1-2 digital bibles (app on phone, tablet), power cords for digital devices

Preparation: pull up the Luke 4: 14 scripture on all devices

 

Alright, pop quiz time.

[Hold up the book Bible] What’s this? [praise answer]

[Hold up the phone with the Bible app showing] What’s this? [phone: praise answer]

[Hold up the tablet with the Bible app showing] What’s this? [tablet/kindle/ipad: praise answer]

[Hold up the power cord(s)] What’s this? [power cords: praise answer]

You guys all get an A! Now what do all of these things have in common..and why on earth have I been allowed to bring my phone and my tablet into church?

[allow for 3-4 answers; if you’re lucky enough to get bible apps as an answer, praise it]

All of those are great answers, but I have a surprise thing that’s the same about all of these. They are ALL bibles!

And if I open my book Bible to my bookmark, it’s today’s reading.

And click on my phone app, it’s today’s reading.

And click on my tablet app, it’s today’s reading.

And they all tell us that reading God’s word in the Bible as often as possible is really important.

Now, wait, these power cords can’t pull up the Bible. How do they fit in here? [allow for 1-2 answers]

Yes! They charge up the phone and the tablet – they give it power – so that we can read the Bible. And reading our Bible gives us power – power to learn what God and Jesus want us to know and power to do what they ask us to do.

Pray with me: Dear God, thank you for sending us your word to read every day and for giving us the power to understand you and do what you ask us to do. Amen

 

I delivered this children’s sermon on July 3, 2016 at Palmetto Presbyterian Church in Mt. Pleasant, SC.

Posted in Children

Children’s Sermon for Luke 19: Zaccheus learns to share

Posted on by singingaboutcooking

Scripture: Luke 19

Props: 2-3 bags of easily identifiable snacks (carrots, cheetos, starburst)

Good morning! Wow, we really had a treat this morning. We heard the children’s choir sing our bible lesson for today. What do you guys remember happened in the song about Zaccheus?

[Look for: climbed a tree to see Jesus, Jesus told him to come down, Jesus said he’s going to Zaccheus’s house.]

Yep, you guys got it! Now the story of Zaccheus goes on for a little bit more than the song. One of the things we learn early on in the story is that Zaccheus is really, really rich; he’s got a LOT of money. And when Jesus goes to Zaccheus’s house, He gets to show Zaccheus some better ways to spend his money.

Now, let me ask you: what’s something you see mom or dad do when friends come to visit? [look for and encourage any form of response that indicates hospitality – offers drink, makes snacks, makes dinner, grills hamburgers and hotdogs, etc.]

Right, having some snacks or a meal is a really important part of showing guests that they are valuable to us, that we are thankful they’ve come to visit.

Now, here’s a challenge [hold up your 2-3 bags of snacks]: I haven’t gone to the grocery store, but I just found out that I’m going to have some friends at my house right after church, and these carrots, cheetos, and starburst are the only snacks I have. What am I going to do?

[expect responses that suggest each person choosing one snack, get really excited if they suggest giving each person a little bit of each snack and sharing; commend them if they get the sharing idea without you telling them]

[If they don’t give you sharing] what if I give each person a few carrots, a few cheetos and a few starburst? I’ve shared the best of everything I have with my friends.

Well, when Jesus visits with Zaccheus, who didn’t forget to go to the grocery store, Jesus is treated to a really fancy lunch and snacks. So Jesus shows Zaccheus that if he can feed Jesus such wonderful food, he can share some of this food and the extra money he has with poor and sick people to help them.

Pray with me: Dear God, thank you for sending Zaccheus to see Jesus, for letting Zaccheus learn to share, and for showing us just how easy it is to share what we have with others. Amen.

 

I delivered this children’s sermon on June 26, 2016; the children’s choir had sung “Zaccheus Was a Wee Little Man” earlier in the service.

Posted in Children

Children’s Sermon for Matthew 5:14-16 – You are the light of the world

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Scripture: Matthew 5: 14-16

Props: enough LED tea light candles (dollar store) and 1 LED or flame taper (similar to Baptism candle)

Assistance: ask an usher or other worship attendant to turn the lights out at your signal during the Children’s Sermon

Action: As you greet the gathered children, light the Baptism candle from the Christ candle on the altar or table.

Who here gets nervous or anxious or scared sometimes? Maybe even in the dark? [allow for 3-4 responses]

Me too, which is why I light my Baptism candle. When we baptism children and adults here, most of the time Preacher Mike [name your own pastor/reverend] usually focuses on the water, but right at the end of the baptism, one of the elders lights a candle from the table and gives it to the parents or the adult.

Why do you think we do that? [allow for 2-3 responses]

Those are really great answers. Let’s look at the Bible to see what Jesus has to say:

In Matthew chapter 5, Jesus says “You are the light of the world. Let your light shine before others so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. (ESV)

[If you’re using a flame taper, consider including a quick segment focusing on how the acolyte takes the flame from the Christ candle before snuffing out the candles and taking the light out of the church building into the world.]

Now I need your help with a quick experiment and I’ve asked Mr. Mark (sound tech) to help me [Mark turns out the lights in the sanctuary].

[Lead the children to the head of the center aisle so the most adults can see.]

We’re going to pretend for a minute that everyone here who’s not right here in our group, they don’t know who Jesus is or how good and important He is to us.

Okay, I need everyone to gather around in a really tight circle. [place the basket of LED tea lights in the center of the circle.]

Now I need 1 volunteer. Great, thank you, Connor! I want you to hold this one candle here in the circle.

[turn to the congregation] Now we need some help from the congregation this morning. What I want you to do is clap to help us know how much light you can see. So if you see a little light, clap a little. And if you see a lot of light, clap a lot!

Okay, Connor [name of the volunteer], hold your candle up so that as many people as possible can see it. [with all of the children standing, mostly only the children and a few really close adults can see, so the clapping is a little.]

Wow, I didn’t hear much clapping, so they must not be able to see just the one light. Can I get another person to hold up a second candle? Great, thank you, Caroline! Now let’s try again with TWO candles. [little more clapping]

Oh, wow, I heard a little more clapping that time. What if EVERYONE holds up a candle at the same time. [claps and cheers]

Did you hear that?! Wow! I think EVERYONE saw your light that time. That’s what happens when everyone who comes to church shares just one blessing from Jesus with someone else in the world each week. We make a huge bright light that everyone can see and want to follow with us.

Pray with me: Dear God, thank you for sending Jesus to be our light and for showing us how to be a light to others. Amen

 

I delivered this Children’s Sermon on June 19, 2016 at Palmetto Presbyterian Church, Mt. Pleasant, SC.

Posted in Children

Observations about Age and MLMs

Posted on by singingaboutcooking

I’m approaching 40. And most of my friends are +/- 5 years from that age. And I’m noticing something I’ve never seen anyone write about: it seems that you might be able to track a woman’s age and/or stage in life by the type of MLM for which they become a consultant.

My Assumptions

  • Most women who subscribe to MLMs are married, especially the ones attractive to the younger age groups.
  • These generalizations may not apply to those who subscribe to an MLM to manage a specific health condition; that is, the age may not match up with the standard adoption age range.
  • Most MLM consultants join to gain the discounts for themselves and do very little to sell the product or to develop a sales team under their management.

21-30

For the young adult ladies, generally 30 and under, the top MLM/consultant choices appear to revolve around millennial ideals focused on sustainability and reduction/rejection of traditional medicine and household chemicals (some might call these moms “granola”), those generally suspicious of anything overly processed.

  • Jamberry Nails – rejecting the inhaled and absorbed chemicals of the nail salon
  • Young Living or doTerra (Essential Oils) – rejecting prescription management
  • 31 Bags – for carting kid stuff and being cute
  • WildTree – spices and freezer meals and likely responsible for the rise of grapeseed oil

31-40

Moms whose kids have reached an age where basically they can make their own cereal on Saturday mornings and beyond.  These women have finished having kids and pushed through the toughest, most high-maintenance formative years, and are finally getting to think about themselves again – their appearance, their health, the way they used to be able to take care of their appearance. The MLMs for this age bracket can generally be perceived as enabling an attempt to reclaim some of the ease, glamour, of those pre-kid years and maybe even a bit of the pre-married years.

  • Mary Kay / Arbonne / Forever Living / Younique / Lipsense / Melaleuca – easy, streamlined, time-efficient application
  • Young Living / doTerra – essential oils as alternatives to traditional, synthetic oral medications and treatments
  • Premier / Cookie Lee / Lia Sophia Jewlery – inexpensive but rich-looking pieces, multiple pairings for variety
  • Pampered Chef – cooking stones and single-purpose meal prep tools

41+

The closer a woman gets to 40, the more likely she is to turn her focus to slowing the progress of time with products designed to keep her looking as young as she is and to manage some of the physical changes that menopause brings on. I find it interesting that, in large part, women in their 40s finally become focused on their skin – the foundation of the makeup that used to be so prominent in their “appearance” arsenal. In addition, food-based MLMs fall out almost completely.

  • Rodan and Fields / Arbonne / BeautyCounter

NOTE: as a purchaser, Thirty-One handbags and organizers have been part of a few recent purchases, but I have not been tempted to buy out of any of the ingested or topical application products, mainly because so few disclose their ingredients. You can claim all you want that it’s natural, not tested on animals, gluten free, vegan, but none of that means that it’s actually safe and appropriate or that it’s ingredients can be verified to be beneficial.

50+

What comes next? What do imagine attempting to sell your friends on when you’re all 50? Because, let’s face it, that’s as far as 90% of MLM adopters get – selling to their close friends who’ll buy a little bit to be nice but not much more after that.

Posted in Being Healthy, Children, Cooking

Rescue Meal–what to make when a friend is dealing with an emergency situation

Posted on by singingaboutcooking

This is in the freezes beautifully section of my cookbook, and I wanted to bring something that freezes beatuifully.   ~Annelle (Daryl Hannah) in Steel Magnolias

So I just signed up to make a meal for a friend dealing with a medical crisis with her daughter. Over the weekend, a high school classmate posted on FaceBook that one of her daughters had fallen out of her second-story bedroom window. After a terrifying trip to the ER, the family brought their daughter home, only to have to rush her back to the ER, suspicious of internal bleeding.

Luckily, a close friend of theirs has taken an active role in organizing dinners for the family, and I signed up for Tuesday. Here’s what I have to work with:

  • The dinner audience: tired, anxious, terrified mom and dad, older sister (10-ish) and younger sister (6-ish)
  • Food preferences according to the kids: peas, chicken, pasta are all things they like (separate of course :)), pizza, chicken nuggets, hot dogs, salad, fruit salad, pancakes/eggs/bacon, hamburgers & fries, steak, porkchops.

So here’s what I’m thinking is a good meal to take over already cooked, still warm, and easily re-heatable (and still good):

  • Roasted Lemon and Garlic Chicken: whole split chicken with extra drumsticks, with lemon and garlic stuffed under the skin for roasting
  • Seasoned Bowtie Pasta: you don’t always have to put sauce on pasta; it’s really nice to enjoy it with some light seasoning like salt and pepper and herbs de provence with an olive oil drizzle. And I’ll include some mix-ins like a can of artichoke hearts, a jar of roasted red peppers, olives, and feta cheese, which would make a great lunch for the next day if there’s any leftover. And don’t be afraid to use gluten free pastas if someone in the family has an allergy.
  • Loaded mashed potatoes: who doesn’t like this…homemade mashed potatoes mixed with sour cream, cheddar cheese, and bacon
  • Seasonal fruit salad: since it’s still winter-ish, I’ll do a plum, nectarine, pineapple, banana and raisin salad with a cinnamon-date balsamic creme-lemon dressing (on the side in case the kids don’t like it)
  • Clemson Tiger Paw Sugar Cookies: my dessert specialty is sugar cookies, and I know this family is completely devoted to Clemson University (as are quite a few friends of mine)

And here’s what I think are the keys to preparing and taking a meal over for friend to enjoy at their leisure or in a stressful time:

    • choose meats that are easy to keep or make moist during reheating–for the chicken, cover it with a damp paper towel and microwave for 2 minutes (direct from fridge)
    • choose sides that are as good cold as they were warm–pasta salads, vegetable salads, fresh fruits–in case the family is just too tired to heat things up
    • put sauces and mix-ins “on the side”–for two reasons: 1) you never know just what someone else likes (unless you cook for them alot) and 2) it gives them options for sprucing up any leftovers
    • make enough servings for one night and maybe lunch the next day; avoid making “double” especially if you know someone is organizing meals for each night. The buildup of leftovers and dishes can be just as overwhelming as having to come home and cook for yourself
    • use disposable containers. Aluminum pans or the Glad bakeable plastic pans are great. I also save the very nice take-out containers that my grandmother’s resort kitchen uses, as they are great for single meals and lunch packs as well as for keeping hot and cold dishes separate but not bulky.
    • include reheating instructions, since you never know when they’ll get around to eating or will want to have leftovers for lunch the next day.
    • and finally, don’t forget dessert and some beverages. If they haven’t been home long enough to cook, then there’s probably not fresh iced tea made or even lemonade much less a quick bite of sweet.

Leftover Suggestion: cut up leftover chicken, artichokes, red peppers, olives, and feta into bowtie pasta for a fabulous pasta salad lunch to take with you on Wednesday.

Other Meal Ideas:

The Casserole–this is such a classic primarily because it uses just one dish (avoiding the bulk in the fridge) and can be frozen until a later time. Also, pretty much any standard meal can be “casserolized”:

    • Spaghetti, ziti, canneloni, lasagne
    • Any stirfry over rice
    • Jambalaya, Baked Shrimp/Chicken Creole
    • Shepherd’s Pie
    • Chicken Pot Pie
    • Mexican chicken/pork and rice (with salsa and queso)
    • Italian chicken/pork and rice (with marinara and parmesean)
    • Cuban chicken/pork and rice  (with black beans, corn, plantains, and sason seasoning)
    • Indian chicken/pork and rice  (with couscous, raisins, curry, and garam masala)
    • Hawaian chicken/pork and rice  (with some pineapple)

The Restaurant Gift Certificate–especially for a restaurant that has great curbside pick-up

The Holiday Meal–give them some real comfort food by making Thanksgiving or Christmas or Easter dinner with classic trimmings

Soups and Stews–paired with a simple salad and bread, a soup or stew or chili is one of the simplest and most comforting meals folks can enjoy during a stressful time when they might not be very hungry but still needs nourishment; it is heated quickly, managed in one container in the fridge, and is easy to pair with a variety of sides.

Posted in Children

Bias Against Certified and Experienced Teachers?

Posted on by singingaboutcooking

In an economic climate which continues to see school budgets cut even more, it’s no longer a wise choice to make teaching your college major or professional aspiration. There just aren’t enough teaching jobs out there anymore.

So why, if the state and private schools can’t hire them (it’s not in the budget), can’t certified and experienced teachers become approved as homeschool teachers, paid privately by parents or parent groups who choose homeschooling? Because the state law (South Carolina, here), specifies that only the child/ren’s parent or legal guardian can apply to homeschool the child. Attorney General’s Opinions: Statutory provisions do not authorize students to be taught by anyone other than their parents or guardians in a home instruction setting. 1989 Op Atty Gen, No 89-22, p. 60.

Is this logical?

I mean, if you look at HomeSchoolingInSouthCarolina.com, you find a list of the laws regulating homeschooling in our fair state. Homeschooling is very narrowly defined by SC as parents teaching their children rather than allowing for the historic option of private tutors. This means that if a parent who does not meet the minimal requirement of having a bachelor’s degree (in anything), the homeschooling application will be denied. This means that the following of my parent friends do not qualify to homeschool their children:

  • My Boeing QA and Customer Satifsaction friend: who builds helicopters and airplanes that don’t fall out of the sky
  • My SAHM friend who left her career managing an entire region of KMart stores (pre-bankruptcy)
  • My Chief of Police friend who leads and trains the lawful protection of an entire city
  • Oh, yeah, and my friend who is the main administrator for all of Charleston County.

And the nation wonders why we consistently come in last (or close to it) in most areas of education. These friends who hold significant positions of knowledge, authority, and responsibility don’t qualify to teach their own children because they don’t have a college degree. And I don’t qualify to teach their children either just because they’re not mine.

All this came about because I’m being laid off from my current job as a communications director and am wondering some things about what I want to do. I’m lucky I have the luxury of taking a few months off to explore some things (including this blog thing), and one option is returning to teaching. My departure in 2007 was abrupt, unexpected, and unwanted. I am a great teacher, with old students from many years ago finding me on FaceBook to ask for advice, networking help, and sometimes just to thank me for making them do all those things they were sure would they’d never use (kind of like algebra).

So why is it that I’m not eligible to be approved by the State of South Carolina or Charleston County School District to be a homeschool teacher…just because I don’t have children of my own. What is it that makes me–with several advanced degrees in a variety of subject areas as well as 12 years of professional teaching experience, positive peer and student reviews, and real-life experience too–unsuitable as a candidate for private teaching at home? I mean, I have spent a lot of time teaching people how to teach, people who go on to be traditionally certified teachers for SC or other states.

Oh, and I’m not just picking on the homeschooling laws; I am also ineligible to be hired by the school system, even on an emergency basis, because I do not have a teaching certificate. I tried; I’m only good enough to be a substitute (though I have to say that’s fun!). Again, 12 years of professional teaching including teacher education means nothing?

For the past two years, one of my friends has only half-jokingly promised to hire me to homeschool her children. Little did she know that with six degrees and 15 years of professional experience in six different industries, I am underqualified. That’s a first for me.