Posted in Lighter Topics, Small Business Tips

17 Clean April Fool’s Pranks

April Fool's JokesYou know cleaning is a serious business when April Fool’s pranks like these keep us laughing for years.

 

Stephanie Harden
House Calls, Cincinnati, OH

Working for a builder in Cincinnati performing Final Cleans, our company was hired to perform maid service at the builder’s home. On April 1st quite a few years ago, myself and co-worker were nearing completion of his service, and it hit me!  I called the owner on his cell and proceeded to explain that after I had completed his top floor and headed down to the main level, I walked into the dining area and his ceiling had dropped to the floor in the area of the Jacuzzi tub in his master, and water was gushing everywhere; we could see the bottom of the Jacuzzi above us.

It must have been at least a minute before I finally asked, “Josh, are you there?”  A few more moments went by until I heard a very low and drawn out, “What!”  I waited another 30 seconds and said, “Josh?” …a few more seconds…he answered in the same tone “What?”  I REPLIED, “APRIL FOOLS!”

He made several attempts to repay me. On one occasion, he called our office after we performed a cleaning for him that day and proceeded to let me know in no uncertain terms that we had closed his cat in the master closest and the cat had freaked out and s&%t all over floor, walls, clothes and shoes!!! And “when were we coming to take care of the mess!!!!???”

It took me a few seconds with my response of, “Won’t work, Josh!”  He mumbled under his breath and hung up.

Mike Rathbun
Freedom Cleaning Services

One April Fool’s Day several years ago, I posted on our Facebook page an elaborate story about opening a new location in Billings, MT (my home town). The story mentioned that we would be transferring most of our staff to Billings to help the new location get up to speed.

I had a couple of resignations, and words that cannot be repeated here, that morning when the staff gathered. I think that was the last time I pulled an April Fool’s joke on my staff.

Brenda Stankus
Classic Touch Cleaning

The funniest prank was when a customer lifted one of her toilet seats, both parts, and stretched saran wrap over the porcelain bowl and then put the seat and lid back to normal.  When we put product into the bowl, it all just sat on top until my employee realized what was going on. The children were outside the door watching and giggling so then she caught on. It was fun and we all laughed about it at the office too.

Brad Smith
Mr. Carpet Cleaning Company

 

Liz Trotter

American Maid Cleaning Service

One year I did a bunch of small stuff:

  • Cotton balls in everyone’s shoes so they were tight
  • Turned the office’s computer screens upside down (In Control Panel, enable Rotation; then use ctrl, alt, up/down arrow to switch)
  • Switched the keys for our cars on the key rings
  • Changed the language on the company phones to French
  • Changed the covers on everyone’s cells so they all had the wrong ones
  • Switched cabinets in the kitchen
  • Hid in my closet so when they came in I wasn’t there
  • Wrote funny things for them to do on their work orders, like scratch the dog for five minutes and use a brush to clean all baseboards by hand, especially behind furniture.

Here are some of the more complex April Fools pranks I have pulled on my staff:

All of our people leave the keys to their cars when they leave in the morning.  I moved them all around; the ones that were far away I moved up close and vice versa. It was funny how many people walked out to where their cars always are and thought their cars had been stolen.

I called a team and told them that one of their clients had cameras on in the house yesterday, and I was giving them a chance to tell me what happened before I take further action; call me when they were ready.  They called about an hour later and said that two of the girls had switched bras, but they never would have done it if they thought the client was watching!  So weird!

TC called me to prank me, and said she had just spilled Shooter (a chemical) on our client’s $25,000 rug. Her voice just sounded weird, so I told her I’d call her back. I decided to prank her back and called back really upset sounding, saying I can’t afford this and it will actually potentially bankrupt me, so I needed them to roll it up and bring it back to the office right now; we’ll throw it in the dumpster and pretend we have no idea what happened.  She was dumb-founded and broke into tears!  I felt a little bit bad, but she did start it!  We all got a good laugh.

One day I called the teams around mid-day and told each one of them that we got this huge job added on that we couldn’t pass up.  They would be working until about 8:00 pm, and I would bring them Taco Bell to get by.  They weren’t happy, and I learned a valuable lesson about throwing jobs on and expecting people to just do my bidding!

Once I changed all the clocks in the office forward an hour.  After we got about four people here, I got them all in on the gag and they would all hide.  When the next person would come in, I’d act surprised and say, “What are you doing here?  I already took you off the schedule.”  It would last until the next person got there and they’d join the hiders who were listening. This was funny.

Internet Spring Cleaning

In 1997, an email message spread throughout the world announcing that the internet would be shut down for cleaning for 24 hours from March 31 – April 2. This cleaning was said to be necessary to clear out the “electronic flotsam and jetsam” that had accumulated in the network. Dead email and inactive ftp, www, and gopher sites would be purged. The cleaning would be done by “five very powerful Japanese-built multi-lingual internet-crawling robots (Toshiba ML-2274) situated around the world.” During this period, users were warned to disconnect all devices from the internet. The message supposedly originated from the “Interconnected Network Maintenance Staff, Main Branch, Massachusetts Institute of Technology.” This joke was an update version of an old joke that used to be told about the phone system. For many years, gullible phone customers had been warned that the phone systems would be cleaned on April Fool’s Day. They were cautioned to place plastic bags over the ends of the phone to catch the dust that might be blown out of the phone lines during this period.

Originally published on April 29, 2014 at CleaningBusinessToday.com.

Posted in Business Articles, Small Business Tips

3 Declining Metrics You WANT to Have

600600p3069EDNmain829skate-board-arrow-615-x-350Sometimes, when things are looking down, it’s time to smile. The lower you can get these three metrics, the faster you can reach those higher goals.

As a society, we are well conditioned to focus on “up is good; down is bad” as a general rule of judging measurement, especially when talking about business. You know what you want to see going up: Revenue, Profit, Number of Clients, Visitors to your Website, Followers on Facebook.

But there are three key metrics that give you an even better understanding of your business’s health. And with these, the lower the number, the healthier your business and more successful your efforts.

1. 
Client Attrition or Loss Rate
Your Client Attrition rate measures how many customers you lose over a specific period of time. Most businessesreport retention as a monthly percentage, but all businesses that are committed to developing a high level of customer loyalty and are putting in the time and effort are measuring this number weekly – sometimes daily.

It’s simple: How many customers cancelled service forever today? Now answer that question every day from now on. At the end of the month divide the number of customers on the last day by the number of customers on the first. That’s your Client Loss Rate – and you want that to be as low as it can be. Why? Because when it’s high, the next metric climbs, costing you money.

2. 
Cost of Customer Acquisition
You probably know that to figure up your profit, you have to subtract your supplies, labor expenses and overhead from your revenue; but did you remember to also subtract the cost of your marketing, advertising, lead nurturing, the estimator’s time and travel? All of those expenses went in to helping you get that customer to agree to pay you for your skilled services. You need to make sure you aren’t spending more than a customer is worth.

This is another one that is often reported as an annual figure, but tracked and measured monthly. Add up all of your marketing and sales expenses for, say, a one month period: email service subscriptions, cost of prizes given out as incentives, add agency fees, television spots, flyer and business card printing, etc. Then divide that by the total number of new customers gained during that month. Compare the dollar figure month to month. If it’s going up, something’s not working in your favor; if it’s going down, keep up the good work.

Note: if you track the referral source of each lead and new customer, you can also figure up the cost of acquisition for each separate marketing tool. This can help you know which campaign to scale back when it stops working for you.

3. 
Website Bounce Rate
One of the most misunderstood metrics in all of online marketing is the bounce rate: how often website visitors are leaving your website after seeing only one page. The goal of online marketing is to get people to click through to your website. The goal of your website is to give them a reason to click around to the different pages and learn things that will make them call or email or book service right online.

The great part of this metric is that Google Analytics will tell you what your bounce rate is. Even better, Analytics lets you set up time period comparison so you can see how you’re trending. And even better than that, Analytics color codes the rate to remind you that a downward angle in green is a good thing.

Why do you care? Well, if visitors are leaving your site before they get to the good stuff, then your website isn’t doing a very good job of convincing a lead to do something: click for more info, download a freebie, ask a question in your live chat bubble, share an article from your blog, or anything else that requires them to click on something on that page. The interaction stopped, robbing you of that lead and potential customer.

Metrics tracking doesn’t have to be hard, but as the saying goes “What gets measured gets improved.” ~Robin Sharma, The Greatness Guide: Powerful Secrets for Getting to World Class  

CeCe Mikell is the Editorial Director for Cleaning Business Today, coming to the cleaning industry from a 15-year career as a college professor of communication and business. She also works with several cleaning business owners on business development projects.

Originally published on April 16, 2014 at CleaningBusinessToday.com.

Posted in Business Articles, Small Business Tips

Stop Asking the Wrong Questions about Pricing Your Service

600600p3069EDNmain841woman-with-calculator-price-tag-615-x-350Each company’s pricing sweet spot is different, so dig in to the full complexity of figuring up your perfect service price for your market.

Yes! Yes, there is a WRONG question to ask about pricing your service. You know it already. You’ve seen it a million times on LinkedIn boards, on Facebook, in listservs, at conferences. And it comes in a couple of variations:

– What do you charge for your services?
– What should I charge for my services?
– What is the industry average rate for cleaning services?

What! You didn’t know that was the WRONG question? That’s okay. You’re not alone.
Benchmarking your prices against those with similar sized businesses and in similar markets isn’t a bad idea. But even benchmarking doesn’t help you sort out why you’re having a hard time turning a profit if you haven’t answered three basic questions. Cue the math lesson!

1. What does Getting the Customer Cost You?

This question popped up on the ARCSI LinkedIn board just last week, with most responders citing anywhere from $200-$600 spent for each customer acquisition. To recoup that cost, you need to be able to account for it as part of your price. Calculating the cost of customer acquisition is pretty simple:

Total Cost of Campaign / Total Number of Customers Gained Through Campaign

Keep both the cost per campaign and a running total to inform your Marketing Plan and your overall business budgeting decisions each quarter.

2. What Does the Cleaning Cost You?

Of the three questions and calculations, the cost of a cleaning is a lot more complex that it seems.

If you’ve never calculated the cost of a cleaning before, start with the simplified version to get a baseline: (labor*hours) + supplies and equipment. This calculation is useful and reasonably accurate for companies with no office or support staff.

When you’ve got the hang of tracking the cost of each cleaning job, you can begin to run an overall average as well as averages based on zip code, neighborhood, square footages, number of rooms, frequency or any other way you’ve chosen to segregate the various types of jobs you book.

3. What Does Keeping the Customer Cost You?

Also called Customer Retention, the cost of keeping a customer long-term is a combination of service delivery, following up with the customer on a regular basis, and adding value the longer the customer is with you. Use this video to begin calculating the cost of customer retention and compare the value (or savings) of retention over acquisition.

So while that classic but “wrong” question is direct, the answers you get are not useful to you unless both you and the other companies answer those questions above with almost the exact same answers. But even then, your goals and timeline are likely different, as is your market; both of those factor in to what you eventually decide to charge.

Lucky for you, ARCSI recently published an industry benchmarking report for residential cleaning services. The report is available for purchase by non-members and is free to members.

Finding the Sweet Spot for Your Price Levels
Here’s the good news. Research into how customers perceive price differences indicates that, in general, the first number in a price is perceived as the most important and gets the most priority when two or more prices are compared. For example, people tend to think of $4.99 as being more closely related to $4 than to $5.

How does this work for your pricing levels? Well, most cleaning companies expect to earn the most revenue from customers who schedule more frequent cleaning jobs, namely weekly and biweekly. Those customers who schedule monthly or “special” cleanings may pay a higher one-time price – always nice in the bank – but you lose out on the build up from recurrence. So set your higher frequency cleaning rates in the lower bracket ($20s or $30s) and the lower frequency cleaning rates in the higher bracket ($30s or $40s).

Remember, the research shows that the first number is more important to the consumer in influencing the buying decision.

To Publish or Not to Publish Your Rate
Armed with real numbers from inside your own company, you are now in a much better position to judge where your rate will fall within the commonly cited $25/hour – $45/hour rate range for residential cleaning (or per room or per square foot, whichever you determine is most effective for your operations).

But making your rate “fit” in that range isn’t a magic pill for getting more customers, especially if you aren’t publishing your hourly rate as several newcomers are doing: Homejoy is proud for all to know that it charges $20/hour, and smaller online cleaner referral services encourage cleaners who register with them to publish their rates by the hour, by the room or by the job. Beyond that, lead generators like HomeAdvisor and RedBeacon are collecting data from every estimate provided through their system and show shoppers what they can expect to pay for various home services, nationally and in their local area.

There’s something to be said for price transparency. For many consumers, it’s a point of trust; if they can’t replicate your estimate in some reasonable fashion, then there must be something fishy about how you’re coming up with their rates.

For cleaning business owners, price transparency seems scary. Why? Ask even the multi-million dollar cleaning companies, and they’ll tell you that margins are small and labor costs more than they want it to. And telling the competition what you’re charging seems to give them an edge, either in figuring out what your costs are or even just flat out undercutting your prices to take business away.

But the precedent for price transparency in cleaning services is being set even as we track this week’s revenue. Start small. Use open-ended phrases like “starting at $29.99/hour.”

CeCe Mikell is the Editorial Director for Cleaning Business Today, coming to the cleaning industry from a 15-year career as a college professor of communication and business. She also works with several cleaning business owners on business development projects.

Originally published on April 15, 2014 at CleaningBusinessToday.com.
Posted in Content Marketing, Lighter Topics

Happy Birthday,CBT! Our First Year in Review

600600p3069EDNmain840baby-birthday-615-x-350CBT celebrates its first year of delivering the best news and business information to cleaning business owners.

As we release the thirteenth issue of Cleaning Business Today, we reflect on the wonders of our first year of bringing you breaking news, unique insights, hidden issues, videos and downloads of business tools, and controversial ideas and projections for the future.
As you read this article, take a moment first to look at the screen. It’s different from last month and the 11 previous months. For our anniversary, we’ve upgraded our digital magazine to a sleek new format so that you can more easily:
– Search the entire issue for any word or phrase
– Make the page bigger by double-tapping or double-clicking on the screen
– Flip pages any way you like on your phone/tablet – tap the ? to personalize your settings
– Bookmark specific articles
– Share and print an individual article
– Watch videos without changing webpages or apps
– Skim the entire issue on Slide Show mode – without ever tapping the screen or clicking your mouse

Why? Because clearly cleaning business owners and industry leaders crave this new focus on the whole business:
– 600 average views per article
– 30,000 page views/month
– 2,200 unique visitors/month
– 3,750 total visitors/month

Cleaning business owners are spending a lot of time in the magazine, using the Search Bar to find articles on the topics that challenge them most as they work hard to grow their businesses.

MOST READ / MOST POPULAR

future-of-the-industry-thumb-200Future of the Industry
Our first feature article, “Future of the Industry” remains our most read article. When we break down the average monthly views for every article we have ever published, this one is at the top. What’s truly revealing is that the expectations for the industry and its development are materializing right before our eyes!

Runner Up: May Extra: Cleaner’s Corner (free download)
Third Place: Midnight Adventures in Business Ownership

TOP CONTRIBUTORS

In our first year, Cleaning Business Today published over 330 original articles and news commentary and featured more than 60 contributors from within and outside of the cleaning industry.

don-aslett-150-x-200Don Aslett, The Last Word Columnist
As our original Last Word columnist, Don Aslett used his unique perspective to reflect on the theme of each issue and offer motivation for all of us to continue working toward a unified, professionalized and respected industry.

Other Favorites Columnists:
Gary Goranson, Leadership, HouseCleaningBiz101.com
Cherylanne Skolnicki, The Big Picture, Nourish
Rebecca Spath, The Big Picture, Breathing Room Therapies

MOST TALKED ABOUT

money-umbrella-smHouse Cleaning Marketplace Gains $38M for New Developments
Join the Discussion on LinkedIn

Dealing with Theft
Join the Discussion on LinkedIn

Do Traditional Small Cleaning Businesses Face Extinction?
Join the Discussion on Facebook

MOST POPULAR NEWS RELEASES

Oreck Bankruptcy in May 2013
Not long after launching that first issue, we were able to break our first story with Oreck’s announcement of the bankruptcy filing of their consumer division. We’ve been privileged to continue breaking some of the most sensational stories of 2013 and into 2014.

Runner Up: Two Maids and A Mop Franchises
Third Place: XCharge Credit Card Processing Users to Pay $199 for Class Action Settlement Services

MOST DOWNLOADED

software-comp-smScheduling Software Comparison Chart
In June 2013, CBT led the Information Technology issue with an unprecedented feature comparison of eight of the most commonly used customer management, scheduling, and field services systems in the cleaning industry. This article and its downloadable chart have become the single most viewed items we’ve ever published, and that’s why we’re repeating and expanding the comparison again for the June 2014 IT issue.

Runner Up: Cleaning Chore List for Kids
Third Place: Calculate Pay or Play Costs to Your Cleaning Business
Fourth Place: Pet Hair Removal

MOST WATCHED VIDEO

Calculating Employee Turnover Rate
Hands down, measuring employee turnover – or how quickly your employees leave and you have to get new ones – is our hottest KPI and video article. Publisher Tom Stewart narrates you through a spreadsheet showing you how to calculate the rate; especially when paired with the companion video on The Cost of Employee Turnover, knowing and using this metric is a huge bonus in helping you keep costs down.

Runner Up: Understanding the Basic Science of the pH Scale and What it Means for Your Cleaning Supplies

Third Place: Hydrogen Peroxide: New Uses for an Old Household Favorite

THE TEAM

Tom Stewart and his wife, Janice Stewart, are co-owners of Castle-Keepers, the 1st company to achieve CIMS certification. Tom is a nationally-recognized leader & innovator in the house cleaning industry. He is co-founder and Publisher of Cleaning Business Today.


Derek Christian
 is founder and owner of My Maid Service, Cincinnati’s largest, independent professional cleaning company. Prior to that, he spent twelve years at P&G working on household cleaning products. Derek is co-founder and Publisher of Cleaning Business Today.

CeCe Mikell is Editor-in-Chief for Cleaning Business Today, coming to the cleaning industry from a 15-year career as a college professor of communication and business. She also works with several cleaning business owners on business development projects.

Austin Walker is Creative Director for Cleaning Business Today. He has over three decades of experience in television and corporate video production, including four years with CNN and seven years in management at an ABC affiliate.

You can meet the Cleaning Business Today leadership at the ISSA/InterClean Trade Show in Orlando, FL, November 4-7, 2014.
Originally published on April 1, 2014 at CleaningBusinessToday.com.